Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall....

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall… 

               Who’s the fairest of them all? 

 

       (Note:  Please read this recap of what happens in "Snow White" if you haven't watched it or if you don't remember what happens.  It will help you to understand the next post.)   
     When I was younger, I used to curl up on my Grandma’s couch and watch “Snow White”.   Sometimes, my Grandpa would watch it with me and my sisters (He liked Snow White too… J).  I remember how the Wicked Queen used to stand before a gold, ornate mirror.  However, this wasn’t just any mirror that simply showed a person’s reflection.  Oh, nooo.  If asked nicely, it would give you its opinion on how you looked!  Every day, the Wicked Queen would stand in front of the mirror and ask it who was the fairest in the land.  Luckily, the mirror always sided with her.  Imagine her rage, though, when one fateful day, the mirror informed her that her step-daughter, Snow White, was fairer than she.  Talk about a little eruption occurring in the palace!  Why, her majesty was so caught up with winning the beauty contest that she plotted Snow White’s murder.  Brutal.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, she wanted Snow White’s heart as proof that her servant actually carried out the dirty deed!  (Think they maybe had some trust issues?)   However, her servant had a soft heart (luckily for Snow White!) and brought the queen a pig’s heart instead.  For the time being, the wicked queen was devilishly happy. 

            Meanwhile, Snow white was stumblingly escaping through a dark and what seemed like a haunted forest.  No matter where she turned, gleaming eyes seemed to be following her.  However, the eyes didn’t belong to dragons, lions, or any other girl eating predators.  Noooo.  They belonged to the cute woodland creatures (slim deer, fluffy birds, slow turtles…) that chose to lead Snow White to a little cottage tucked into the heart of the forest.  However quaint it may sound, though, this cottage was super dirty and, oddly enough, everything was smaller than normal.  Snow white (being a dear) cleaned the whole house from top to bottom, prepared a delicious soup, and then (yawn) stretched across three mini beds and fell asleep.  Imagine her surprise when she woke up and saw 7 dwarves, beards and all, peeping over the foot boards at her.  After she screamed, they were introduced as Happy, Dopey, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Doc, and Grumpy.  And let me tell you, their names say it all!  Anyway, most of them were sympathetic towards Snow White after hearing her story and decided to let her to stay with them…..their ulterior motive being that she could cook and clean very well!  They wouldn’t have to do any housekeeping after work in the jewel mine.  So, Snow White lived happily ever after taking care of the dwarves.  The End.

I wish…

            Unfortunately, Snow White’s villainous stepmother poses in front of the scene again.  Of course, she’s stood before her talking mirror again.  Going through the same routine, she inquired who now was the fairest of all…assuming of course that Snow White laid murdered in the forest.  Can’t you just see her posing with hands on hips, her chin slightly upturned, a villainous smile painted across her face, and murderous victory gleaming in her eyes?  Let me just say, though, that her victory moment was short lived.  Oh noooo.  Oh yes!  After the magic mirror her informed her that Snow White was living in the seven dwarves’ cottage (I’m really starting to dislike this mirror!), the Queen disappeared into a teeny, wickedly dark room where she transformed herself into the ugly/evil/raisin looking person that you pray you never meet!  Of course, anyone who uses Mummy Dust (to make them old), Black of Night (to disguise their clothes), Old Crackle (yup, that’s for the voice), a scream of fright (to whiten their hair), a blast of wind (to fane their hate), and lastly a thunderbolt (to mix it all together) isn’t going to look so hot!  After her, umm, transformation, the evil witch dipped a beautiful, red apple into a nasty looking substance.  She added it to a basket of innocent apples and then hobbled off (nooo, she didn’t fly) to the cottage.  Meanwhile, Snow White was making a lovely pie for Grumpy when up cames Granny.  After determining that she was alone, Granny offered Snow White a magical apple that supposedly granted wishes.  (It’s like the joke where if you say cheese reeeally slowly, it sounds like gullible.)  Innocent and naïve, Snow White bit the apple and, to the Queen’s delight, dropped to the floor.  Crackling with glee, Granny was springing from the house when, Lo and Behold, she saw the dwarves coming straight towards her like a lightning bolt.  Of course, she scurried off like a mad women (which, to be honest, she was!) from the oncoming wave of dwarves.  Eventually, the angry band of little men cornered her at the top of a mountain.  Granny, in an attempt to save herself, tried to smash them all with a large stone.  (Wicked, huh?)  Instead, just as you think the dwarves will all die resembling jam, the evil queen fell off of the cliff and the huge stone fell ker-splat, right on top of her.  Ouch.  After escaping a nasty death, the dwarves returned to their cottage where they all mourned over Snow White.  They couldn’t bring themselves to bury her in the cold, dark earth, so they instead make a glass coffin (so they could see her) and placed it in a beautiful, open space in the forest.  Now at this point, you may be thinking, where’s the Prince?  Great question!  It just so happens that as the grieving dwarves were gathered around the coffin, up galloped the prince….. on a  horse!  Dismounting, he strutted up to the open coffin and, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, kissed Snow White.  (???)  And, you know what happens?  Snow White woke up!  (You know that deceitfully beautiful apple that she ate?  Well, that the apple didn’t kill her but rather only put Snow White into a deep sleep that could be awakened by true love’s kiss.  Romantic, huh?)  After that, the Prince set Snow White on his white horse and took her back to his castle.  And, they lived happily ever after……